I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
