dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I love you.
Bad choice
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
