Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
