1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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