I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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