Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize