dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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