so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
