Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
