you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
