4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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