Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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