I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
