I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
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Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
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I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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