This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
