She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
