Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
