His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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