Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
