The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Randomize
