No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
It was confusing and full of hummus
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
