my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
