now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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