i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
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Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
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Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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