Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
should my penis look like a turkey
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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