i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I am mentally ready for anal.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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