dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
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Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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