Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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