I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize