Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.

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  (757): adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded. http://tfl.nu/ax04
  Replies (32) Good night (5785) Bad night (1284)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down

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  (513): he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down http://tfl.nu/ig2f
  Replies (8) Good night (6704) Bad night (1324)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.

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  (281): my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious. http://tfl.nu/99ri
  Replies (48) Good night (6232) Bad night (1199)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop

  (551): View more from New Jersey

  I really wish I could say this is a new low for you

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  (201): Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop (551): I really wish I could say this is a new low for you http://tfl.nu/0p1x
  Replies (11) Good night (1048) Bad night (4014)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.

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  (765): I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick. http://tfl.nu/m09q
  Replies (25) Good night (4219) Bad night (2742)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.

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  (505): While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/0pt9
  Replies (9) Good night (4120) Bad night (1093)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?

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  (609): did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes? http://tfl.nu/qlm2
  Replies (22) Good night (5375) Bad night (1232)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.

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  (419): PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me. http://tfl.nu/iheo
  Replies (1) Good night (2103) Bad night (704)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume

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  (703): Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume http://tfl.nu/akez
  Replies (9) Good night (2505) Bad night (836)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day

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  (902): On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day http://tfl.nu/p5su
  Replies (4) Good night (1943) Bad night (668)
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  (916): View more from California

  Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home

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  (916): Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home http://tfl.nu/dlwc
  Replies (3) Good night (741) Bad night (1772)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.

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  (518): I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures. http://tfl.nu/io2e
  Replies (3) Good night (1750) Bad night (537)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.

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  (612): I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods. http://tfl.nu/4jr6
  Replies (11) Good night (1158) Bad night (503)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  Priorities

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  (203): We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades (1-203): Priorities http://tfl.nu/v803
  Replies (1) Good night (826) Bad night (319)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night

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  (314): Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night http://tfl.nu/13rl
  Replies (8) Good night (1030) Bad night (392)

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