Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis

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  (908): im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis http://tfl.nu/pro9
  Replies (14) Good night (3484) Bad night (701)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.

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  (508): Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/jn2c
  Replies (12) Good night (769) Bad night (4035)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.

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  (306): We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park. http://tfl.nu/ti46
  Replies (13) Good night (3314) Bad night (1102)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops

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  (701): There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops http://tfl.nu/5t7t
  Replies (29) Good night (8023) Bad night (882)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes

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  (801): Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes http://tfl.nu/lgb8
  Replies (4) Good night (4051) Bad night (912)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow

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  (920): if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow http://tfl.nu/50w2
  Replies (14) Good night (1915) Bad night (928)
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  (845): View more from New York

  im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina

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  (845): im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina http://tfl.nu/gfgs
  Replies (12) Good night (1230) Bad night (2818)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days

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  (412): Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days http://tfl.nu/6wcx
  Replies (9) Good night (4437) Bad night (914)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!

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  (910): Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?! http://tfl.nu/gina
  Replies (13) Good night (1311) Bad night (6649)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.

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  (847): 2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take. http://tfl.nu/jq3u
  Replies (20) Good night (2731) Bad night (1428)
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  (408): View more from California

  I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.

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  (408): I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/0k63
  Replies (17) Good night (3008) Bad night (1296)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.

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  (206): Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/pnkf
  Replies (4) Good night (2021) Bad night (511)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.

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  (251): We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan. http://tfl.nu/qlyy
  Replies (3) Good night (990) Bad night (436)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer

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  (860): Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer http://tfl.nu/4t5t
  Replies (2) Good night (271) Bad night (539)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him

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  (402): I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him http://tfl.nu/5l9m
  Replies (5) Good night (759) Bad night (214)

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