vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory