I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
