Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.