Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"