It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
