i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
