Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
