covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
