i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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