I want to walk on stilts...naked
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
