She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
