made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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