Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
