absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
