Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
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Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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