it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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