Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
