They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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