super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
