her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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