Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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