My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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