i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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