Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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