Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
