Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize