what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
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thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
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Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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