I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
