mondays should just be called national damage control day
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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