apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
