VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
