Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
