If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
