Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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