She just used a chaser for red wine.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I need water and some morals
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
