Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Randomize
