dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
