No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
