Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
