I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
that's an acceptable place to lick
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
