I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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