Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
you never un-have a 4some
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
