sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
