I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
