cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
