Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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